Well, what an interesting couple of months. It is almost the end of 2009 and I am still wondering where the year went? What did I do this year? Well, I work as a temp for a year, still with no out-look of being hired full time; I turned 25, and yet still remain looking like I’m 17; oh and I am still living with my parents even though a year ago I said I would only live with them for 6 months to a year. Where did the time go?
This past weekend I was reunited with many of my high school alums, sadly at a memorial service. In retrospect it was a rather odd scenario. While I was catching up with all of my classmates I was having a great time, other than the nature of the reunion. It was so much fun hearing what everyone was up to, where they had been and most of all to see that a good number of them were at the same place in life that I am! That same place being: living with their parents, exploring where their career is headed, either going back to school or contemplating it, and just trying to ride of the poor economy and consequently the poor job market.
A really interesting part that I did not expect from the gathering is the flood of emotions I experienced after the evening had ended. Most people had grow up, just like I had, but some of the evening was the same high school drama and immaturity. And while I have left my high school self, that being my insecurities, fears and emotion driven antics, in high school, I was amazed at how insecure I felt again; how all of my fears because of these insecurities came back, but thank God no emotion driven antics ensued. Two days later and I still can’t shake some of the feelings. I don’t really know why? I know who I am and am very ok with this. Yet I fear did they like me, did I say something stupid and other normal high school feeling. I know that we all have left that place in life, but wonder if anyone else had the same reaction that I did? And what will it be like the next time I see these people? I hope that as we grow this reaction with dissipate as well.
This past weekend I was reunited with many of my high school alums, sadly at a memorial service. In retrospect it was a rather odd scenario. While I was catching up with all of my classmates I was having a great time, other than the nature of the reunion. It was so much fun hearing what everyone was up to, where they had been and most of all to see that a good number of them were at the same place in life that I am! That same place being: living with their parents, exploring where their career is headed, either going back to school or contemplating it, and just trying to ride of the poor economy and consequently the poor job market.
A really interesting part that I did not expect from the gathering is the flood of emotions I experienced after the evening had ended. Most people had grow up, just like I had, but some of the evening was the same high school drama and immaturity. And while I have left my high school self, that being my insecurities, fears and emotion driven antics, in high school, I was amazed at how insecure I felt again; how all of my fears because of these insecurities came back, but thank God no emotion driven antics ensued. Two days later and I still can’t shake some of the feelings. I don’t really know why? I know who I am and am very ok with this. Yet I fear did they like me, did I say something stupid and other normal high school feeling. I know that we all have left that place in life, but wonder if anyone else had the same reaction that I did? And what will it be like the next time I see these people? I hope that as we grow this reaction with dissipate as well.
It makes sense. Those feelings are like habits. Since you were back in the context of high school people, the habit triggered by that context (which has been lying dormant for the past several years) was triggered. In a way, you got the opportunity to experience yourself from back then. Take it as an opportunity to see how far you've come. :-)
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